Best (and Worst) of 2005


	It took us way too long to do this... But if they can do the Oscars in March we can sure as shit do the BBW awards, because BBW is more prestigious then the Academy any day. But lets cut the chase, shall we dear reader? There is no way that 2005 could have ever stood up to the awesomeness of 2004. Still, we were blessed with quite a few excellent records this year and you'd be in good territory with any of them. Your friends will salute your good taste, women will be instantly attracted to you, and your parents will know that their child has successfully navigated the dangers of life and turned out a saint. Don't you dare go near any of the records at the bottom of this list though or you will wind up a lonely, helpless bum, with no teeth and addicted to crack, the shame of your family and repellent to even the fattest of ugly women. So here they are, your class of 2005 school awards. Related features: Best of 2004 Best of 2003 Best of 2002

010. The Decemberists: Picaresque
Receiving the "Creative Writing Award"

"The ocean calls to me with Colin Meloy's voice, begging me to sail its briny waves in search of vengeance for the untimely death of my mother/sister/lover/dog. Incredible lyrics combine with a delicious pop background to produce something that should serve as an example to all those who would dare stand in the Decemberists' path."
-carl

"Although I don't agree that the Decemberists are a match for Neutral Milk Hotel or that Colin Maloy is giving Jeff Mangum a run for his money, Picaresque was a clever little storybook album, and the tunes were terriffic."
-amira

009. Kanye West: Late Registration
Voted "Most Popular"

"Kanye West would be pissed that he wasn’t number one on this list. If anyone read this site, that is."
-austin

008. Sufjan Stevens: Illinois
Voted "Most Studious"

"I am going to see Sufjan Stevens in two weeks at Carnegie Hall. Thanks to "Illinois" I am one hundred dollars poorer than I was last week, but only because I am so dedicated to the man and his music."
-amira

007. Deerhoof: The Runners Four
Voted "Best Personality"

"Deerhoof best live show of November 2005. The only live show I caught in November 2005."
-amira

"The 'Hoof had an amazing year in 2005, blowing past critics and totally reinventing their sound as an eclectic amalgamation of Merseybeat, sugar melodies, noise rock, and slick future-pop. With every release, the band's sound mutates and although this latest incarnation was an obvious attempt to gain new fans, it was no less brilliant than the spastic glory of Reveille, the cuddly abrasion of Apple O', or the eclectic pleasures of Milk Man. The Runners Four was something brand new that somehow felt old and familiar at the same time. It further reinforced the fact that Deerhoof is the most wildly exciting band currently in operation."
-exadore

006. Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Voted "Best Dancer"

"Wolf Parade was another late-in-the-year discovery that did not disappoint. (Like Clap Your Hands Say Yeah did.)"
-amira

"Although there's nothing all that unique about Wolf Parade's sound, the band manages to conjure something special out of the ordinary confines of a rock band. From lo-fi pop to garage disco to lonesome endless ballads and straight-forward Bowie-influenced rock, the band pulls it all together and manages to pack at least one sweaty, transcendent moment in to all 12 songs on their debut. It's the song-writing, stupid."
-exadore

005. The Evens: The Evens
"Outstanding Contributions from an alumni"

"If anyone had told me that Ian Mackaye would be making quiet, minimalist pop after his tenure in Fugazi I would have laughed them off. In retrospect however, the signs are there--the quiet opening moments of "Cashout," the sudden transformation of "Epic Problem" into a catchy singalong, the subtle beauty of the piano-driven "I'm So Tired." What's most amazing is how the Evens manage to move in totally new directions while still sounding exactly like they belong to Mackaye's family of bands. After shouting his head off for years in one legendary punk band after another--Minor Threat, Embrace, Fugazi--he's finally settled down with drummer Amy Farina and discovered the simple pleasures of a pretty harmony over a softly strummed guitar."
-exadore

004. Animal Collective: Feels
Voted "Most Artistic"

"Animal Collective manages to sand off their more annoyingly self-indulgent edges without sacrificing any of their weirdness or experimentation. The band finally decided to focus on writing songs--and what great songs they were too. Weird twisting things full of unexpected turns, unidentifiable sounds, and covered in the kinds of broken syllable vocal arrangements and groaning, guttural harmonies that recalled Smile. It was exactly the direction I hoped the band would go in: making the strange accessible, making the abrasive catchy, making the jarring beautiful, and finally delivering on the promise of those first few tracks from Sung Tongs."
-exadore

"I can't say anything more about Animal Collective that I haven't already said."
-amira

003. Devendra Banhart: Cripple Crow
Voted "Class Clown"

"Recalling Crosby Stills Nash & Young, John Lennon, and Bob Dylan while still keeping your own (extremely) unique style is a difficult feat, but Devendra and co. pull it off with stunning results. This album fits as easily with today’s music as it does with the folk movement of the 60’s."
-austin

"Who would have anticipated that another folk revival awaited us here at the dawn of the 21st Century.? Surely the future of music was in bands like TV on the Radio, using technology to create buzzing loops and strange noises no one has ever heard before. But along comes Devendra Banhart, blazing the trail with everything you never thought would be cool again. Cripple Crow, a group effort featuring a who's who of the neo-folk moment, mixes together traditional American folk music, Spanish bossa-nova, '50s Rhythm-and-Blues, and '60s psychedelic wordplay and atmospherics. Even if you could have known that the future was actually going to be the past, who would have thought that it would be this good?"
-exadore

002. MIA: Arular
Voted "Most Likely to Succeed" and "Most Outgoing"

"Dance to the revolution! And I’m not talking about the band that backed up Prince in the 80’s. But seriously, Sri Lankan hip-hop? What the fuck?"
-austin

"MIA was a treat to discover early in 05. She was the impetus for much of my booty-shaking. For this I am grateful. She is a woman, she is talented, she is beautiful, and she kicks ass."
-amira

"Indian girls are hot. Indian girl rappers are hotter. Sri Lankan superstar M.I.A.'s first offering is a heapin' helpin' of dancehall, old-school goodness, with modern techniques mixed in for the kiddies. Take sexy lady vocals laid on in sync with some of the phattest beats since Fatboy Slim started sucking combine, add in more imaginative lyrical talents than 95% of indie rappers and you create a hip hop/dance album which falls into a different new category than the tired old ones of "i hate you and you rap worse" and "i got ho's and several digits in my bank account." M.I.A. is a godsend. "
-carl

001. Spoon: Gimme Fiction
Receiving the award for "Student of the Year"

"Think the Beatles. Now think like fifty years in the future and significantly smaller than jesus. Now you have Spoon's Gimme Fiction, which in the future will become a new religion based around the golden rules of rock. Scientologists take note."
-carl

"Spoon have pulled it off again. While dropping the experimentation from their previous album, they still put out the strongest rock record this year."
-austin

"Although the band embellished their sound a little from the spare explorations of Kill the Moonlight (in both the length of the songs and the amount of instruments involved) their sound was still utterly unique. Take for instance the stark funk of "I Turn My Camera On," as the band finds one simple rhythm and all the instruments play on the jagged beat with little variation. It was easily my favorite song of 2005. Then there were also the Beatles-esque pop of "The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine" or "Sister Jack." Spoon frontman Britt Daniel is not only writing great songs, but is showing us a whole new way to write songs--that less is in fact much more."
-exadore

Weezer: Make Believe
"Class Treasurer"

"No band has fallen from grace quite as bad as Weezer. They've gone from being treasured by nerds, geeks, the socially awkward, and quiet kids, to being supported by jocks and bros. Perhaps what's even worse than songs like "Beverly Hills" and "We Are All On Drugs", and there's not much that is worse, is the way the songs make you wonder how in the hell you ever liked the band in the first place. The songs are so terrible they can erase everything that was ever good about the band from your memory."
-exadore

Black Eyes Peas: Monkey Business
Receiving the "Remedial Reading Award"

"Fergie has no humps, on either side of her body. She is to hip-hop what Yoko Ono is to rock. Ditch the bitch, Will.I.Am."
-carl

"Lady lumps? Is she talking about her titties? What's next, a song about doodies and wee-wees?"
-exadore

"This album is nothing short of a human rights violation."
-austin

Franz Ferdinand: You Could Have It So Much Better with Franz Ferdinand
Voted "Best Dressed"

"The members of Franz Ferdinand have only ever heard of three bands--Gang of Four, Josef K, and John Lennon--and when they're not ripping off one, they're going for one of the other two. They not be worse then the Rapture but Franz Ferdinand sounds like music for people who hate music."
-exadore

"Dance-punk is neither dance nor punk. As the forerunners of this movement, the Franz have to fight this faulty definition. They hold up about as well in the face of said adversity as the skull of the assassinated monarch who shared their name."
-carl

Fiery Furnaces: Rehearsing my Choir
Receiving the "History Award"

"This record is easily the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Howler monkeys engaged in sexual intercourse come close. Whales with infected blowholes come close. That Mars Volta live album comes close, but this takes the cake over all of them for the simple fact that you should NEVER LET YOUR GRANDMOTHER BE THE LEAD VOCALIST ON YOUR ALBUM! EVER!"
-exadore

50 Cent: The Massacre
Voted "Biggest Jock"

"Getting shot and allowing Eminem to touch you places that he probably shouldn't doesn't make you a good rapper. Oh, neither does money. Has it always been so easy to pick up an idiot off the street and turn him into a cash cow? This asshole will never get any of my money. And if he figures a way to do it, i'm going to add another bullethole to his collection. But I won't miss."
-carl

"Did this guy really call his bedroom a candyshop and his pee-pee a lollipop? Seems like all pop music is now geared toward the coveted 5-years-old demographic. If only he could rip off the melody of the "Diarrhea" song for his next slow jam, he could make a fortune. Too bad Weezer already beat him too it."
-exadore

"I wish 50 Cent would disappear."
-amira

Broken Social Scene: Broken Social Scene
Receiving the "Team Sports Award"

"In my opinion, this is the worst album that came out this year. You cannot distinguish one instrument from another, and every song is a boring as fuck six minute build up to nothing. Pitchfork Rating: 8.4, BBW Rating: 3, Austin Rating: 0. The only thing that comes close is that fucking Fiery Furnaces record."
-austin

"A big stinky mishmash, with too many musicians, too many instruments, and not enough ideas. Maybe there's a good album buried somewhere here but you can't fucking hear it because the whole thing is buried under layers and layers of indistinct, formless sound. Easily the most disappointing album of the year."
-exadore